Ponderous cat was pondering.
Staring down the barrel of the birthday cake in front of him, he remembered the past year.
A year of massive highs,
And of devastating lows.
Now, he wondered about the year ahead.
What would it be like to be four?
What will he encounter?
What will he experience?
Such are the questions he asked himself at this time every year.
So with all the energy he could muster,
With all the might he could manage,
Ponderous cat blew out the candles with a breath that sounded more like a sigh.
And as four extinguished flames became four trails of black smoke, he thought to himself:
"There better be some fucking tunafish in that cake."
Happy New Year, Autumnal Fuckers. I'm back.